Thursday, May 2, 2013

Thinking of your life in terms of Death

Disturbing title?

In recent times I have been faced with the death of loved ones and friends. It has made me start thinking about my life in terms of my death, meaning, how will I be remembered after my death and how does that compare to how I want to be remembered? Am I living my life so that when I die I will be remembered in the way I hope to be or will the reality be shockingly different? I suppose it depends on who you ask.

The view from my lens; I see myself as multifaceted.

Some people will say that I was very kind, giving, understanding and a true friend to the core.

Some will say I had crazy political ideas and had it all wrong, but that I would defend my position to the end. I held fast in my political beliefs whether everyone agreed with me or not.

Some will say I was funny. Some will say I was not.

Everyone will say, “She loved her family and her dogs!” Good LORD please don’t let her start on her dogs! She will talk your ear off. I do have a real big heart when it comes to the furry faces. I readily admit that, proudly so.

In my professional world some might say I was tough, some might say I was smart. There are some that would say I was easy to talk to and others who could disagree.

Is the real question is it what I see that matters or what others see? Since I will be dead, my opinion on the matter will be moot so in this instance it is absolutely the opinion of others that count. Which is opposite of how I try to live my life. I don’t much care what others think, in life, but in death it is a completely different ball game.

How do I want to be remembered? That can be a loaded question. Some might have a simple answer, others will have shocking answers. Mine is multifaceted.

Professionally I would like to be remembered as someone who was not afraid to push back when necessary, stand down and be silent or stand up and be heard. I would like for people to say that even though it wasn’t always easy, I always did my best to make sure I did the right thing; even if I disagreed with it.

I would like to be known as someone who knew her stuff, someone you could count on to get the job done and done right. I would like to be remembered as being a good listener as well as a speaker.

In my personal world I would like people to remember me as a kind and loving person who could be a pain in the backside at times. < insert smile >

I would like to be known for my love of animals and the small efforts I made to help them. I would like to be known as someone who was a great doggie mom who adored her fur kids.

I think that most importantly I would like to be remembered as someone who enriched the lives of everyone she met. Who left people better off that I found them and was a daughter, sister, cousin, aunt my family could be proud of, that I loved and was loved deeply.

I think I have some work to do before I die.

RIP Rex Dillabough - You are Missed.  4/30/13